he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
