I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Even the bartender felt bad for me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
