i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
