I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The struggles of a small town man whore
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
