Your tits are I can't wait for
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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