But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
