i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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