carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
