I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Your penis caused this!
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