i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize