Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I would fuck him just for his dog
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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