I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
