"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
