every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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