he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
