Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
