Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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