the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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