i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
