haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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