Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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