do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
