the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
