It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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