i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
