problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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