I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize