Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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