so let's talk penis.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
