nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
