Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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