i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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