Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
