I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize