There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That accounts for only three of the penises
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
