I think my fart just growled at me.
I skipped work to stalk him.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
