Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just cut my nipple shaving
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
