you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
