you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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