Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
