You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
