where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
