i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
