why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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