fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
