It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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