I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
