it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
