Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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