No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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