Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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