my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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