I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
