dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
