No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
