By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
