community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize