she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
