I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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