Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
