My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
