So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
