He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
