Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
