I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I can't put those talents on a resume
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
