good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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