no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think i got beer on your cat.
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