Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Sorry about my life...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
