What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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