does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
